{"id":89,"date":"2025-12-01T18:25:05","date_gmt":"2025-12-01T18:25:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/?p=89"},"modified":"2025-12-27T22:18:39","modified_gmt":"2025-12-27T22:18:39","slug":"my-belonging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/?p=89","title":{"rendered":"My Be Longing"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

On reading <\/em>On Gallows Down by Nicola Chester (pub 2021) – a memoir of place, protest and belonging – this poem came to me, taking her words and trying to apply them to my place, protest and belonging. I was very struck by how little of my life found echo in them although they had accompanied me too.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With no<\/strong> fidel<\/strong>ity to my nat<\/strong>al site<\/strong>, 
I was not honed<\/strong>, heft<\/strong>ed, hearthed<\/strong>, nor imprin<\/strong>ted. 
So no<\/strong> belong<\/strong>ing, no famil<\/strong>iar land<\/strong>scape, 
(Its in<\/strong>timacies, its<\/strong> partic<\/strong>ular<\/strong>ities) 
No past<\/strong>oral id<\/strong>yll, no sig<\/strong>nature smells<\/strong>,
Just grief<\/strong>, loss<\/strong>, mean<\/strong>ing and mem<\/strong>ory. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No\u00a0con<\/strong>tours,\u00a0no<\/strong>\u00a0triang<\/strong>ulat<\/strong>ion,
No\u00a0north<\/strong>ings and\u00a0east<\/strong>ings for\u00a0or<\/strong>ienta<\/strong>tion,
No\u00a0sing<\/strong>le\u00a0place<\/strong>, no\u00a0an<\/strong>chor, no\u00a0root<\/strong>edness,\u00a0
No\u00a0place<\/strong>\u00a0to\u00a0know<\/strong>\u00a0and no\u00a0place<\/strong>\u00a0to\u00a0know<\/strong>\u00a0me,
No\u00a0home<\/strong>\u00a0to return<\/strong>\u00a0to, so no\u00a0ex<\/strong>ile\u00a0ei<\/strong>ther,\u00a0
No\u00a0go<\/strong>ing to\u00a0earth<\/strong>,\u00a0free<\/strong>dom disenfran<\/strong>chised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No connec<\/strong>tions,\u00a0re<\/strong>-connect<\/strong>ions,\u00a0touch<\/strong>stones,\u00a0
No\u00a0con<\/strong>versat<\/strong>ions that are\u00a0soft<\/strong>\u00a0transact<\/strong>ions,
Nothing to\u00a0slow<\/strong>\u00a0the\u00a0pace<\/strong>\u00a0nor\u00a0speed<\/strong>\u00a0it\u00a0up<\/strong>,\u00a0
No\u00a0earn<\/strong>estness to explain<\/strong>, explore<\/strong>,\u00a0cel<\/strong>ebrate,\u00a0
To\u00a0mark<\/strong>,\u00a0gal<\/strong>vanise\u00a0or<\/strong>\u00a0commis<\/strong>erate,\u00a0
No\u00a0mess<\/strong>ages.\u00a0Yet<\/strong>\u00a0commun<\/strong>ity of\u00a0sorts<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What was<\/strong> my \u2018outdoors<\/strong>\u2019? A long<\/strong>ing, a griev<\/strong>ing, 
A yearn<\/strong>ing may<\/strong>be but no<\/strong> nostal<\/strong>gia,
No earth<\/strong>bound pre<\/strong>monit<\/strong>ions, no ghosts<\/strong>,
No wild<\/strong> famil<\/strong>iars, no cust<\/strong>om, no na<\/strong>ture, 
The world<\/strong> become<\/strong> nei<\/strong>ther in<\/strong>timate nor 
In<\/strong>finite. No<\/strong> hi<\/em><\/strong>raeth[1]<\/strong><\/sup><\/a><\/em>, no cynef<\/strong>in[2]<\/strong><\/sup><\/a><\/em>.

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

NOTE TO READER: Emphasise the bold<\/strong>. I’m striving here for an <\/em>anapestic tetrameter [dadadaa<\/strong>, dadadaa<\/strong>, etc], but some <\/em>iambs and <\/em>trochees x4 are mixed in, so it doesn\u2019t quite scan. Grrr!)<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

[1]<\/sup><\/a> Welsh (Brythonic), meaning: \u201cLonging for home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was, the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.\u201d Literally <\/em>homesickness. Pronounce HIGH-raith<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

[2]<\/sup><\/a> Welsh (Brythonic), meaning: \u201cYour place of multiple belongings (cultural, religious, geographic, tribal etc).\u201d Literally <\/em>habitat or <\/em>place. Pronounce ke-NEVin<\/em> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On reading On Gallows Down by Nicola Chester (pub 2021) – a memoir of place, protest and belonging – this poem came to me, taking her words and trying to apply them to my place, protest and belonging. I was very struck by how little of my life found echo in them although they had […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[34,15],"class_list":["post-89","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-place","tag-alienation","tag-poem"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=89"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":180,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/89\/revisions\/180"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=89"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=89"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.colinhicks.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=89"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}